6 Strange Hangover Cures

Last time we looked, lawyers like to drink on New Year’s Eve, and sometimes to excess—often depending on whether billable hour goals have been met for the year. Or not. For that unpleasant morning after, there are thousands of remedies to choose from, including six of the strangest.

5 Lemon Armpits. Apparently, revelers in Puerto Rico swear by this remedy: rub a sliced lemon into your armpits before you go out for a night of heavy drinking. Though there’s no science to this, it allegedly prevents dehydration. I’m no scientist, but the fact that I don’t see marathon runners lathering up in lemon slices makes me skeptical. In fact, I’m tagging this one as an urban legend. But feel free to try it.

4 The Highland Fling. For the Scot in you, heat up a pint of buttermilk and stir in a tablespoon of cornflour. Season with salt and pepper. Drink. In the morning, not as part of your New Year’s celebration.

3 Dried Bull Penis. This is a remedy from the manly folks in Sicily. Just chew on dried bull penis and your hangover abates. But, one problem for people stateside is finding dried bull penis. I Googled “Dried Bull Penis Whole Foods” and came up with plenty of listings for bull pizzle and bully sticks, none of which are apparently too healthy, even for dogs. So, no hair of the dog on this one.

2 Hangover Heaven. You have to be in Vegas for this one, but the 45-foot rolling hangover treatment clinic from Hangover Heaven can come get you and hook you up to “a small, pediatric IV.” You then have your choice of up to two liters of hydration, plus medicine for nausea, headache, or heartburn. And, if you want, you can get 30 minutes worth of oxygen as part of its “Rapture” package.

1 Prairie Oysters Rabbit Shit Tea. Take one whole raw egg, mix with Worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper and hot sauce, then gulp it down without breaking the yolk. If you don’t puke it up, it may do the trick, though we have our doubts. If that doesn’t work, try making tea out of rabbit shit, provided you feel well enough to go outside to collect some—Western US cowboys swore by this tea.

Our recommendation? Drink plenty of water and, in the morning, plan for a tried and true greasy morning breakfast, poutine if you speak Canadian.

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